It’s fairly easy to find a website devoted to friends with benefits in South Africa. But once you’ve found the website, you may not know how to approach the subject with anyone. Do you flat out ask about their intentions, or do you lead up to it? You want to know but you don’t want to offend anyone by asking. It can be a little tricky, especially if you haven’t been looking for FWB yet. But if you’ve never had a friends with benefits arrangement, there are some tips and tricks you can use to make sure you’re going to have a successful experience.
One of the first things you’re going to be told, consistently, is to be upfront. While it may seem forward to straight out ask someone what they’re looking for, you want to be this forward. You don’t want to start chatting someone up only to realize they aren’t looking for the same things as you. The chances are, they are going to want to know what you’re interested in as much as you do. So be bold. Ask in the first conversation what type of arrangement they are looking for. Make sure their needs are compatible with your own. Go into detail about the kinds of things you’re hoping to do. If they’re uncomfortable, they will let you know. This will help you to know you have to keep looking for someone else. You want to find someone who is thinking the same things as you. You will, but it won’t be the first or second person you choose to contact.
That’s also why we bring up the next point, which it to take your time. You may feel like you’re in a rush to get to know someone and get busy. Don’t. Ignore that feeling. You want to take the time to do it right if you want an amazing experience. Get to know the person you want an arrangement with. Get to know their needs, wants and desires. Get to know the kind of things they want to do in the bedroom with you. You don’t have to get to know every detail about them, like where they grew up or what their parents do for a living, but you want an idea of their personality. You want an idea of the shared compatibility. You won’t find that out by rushing anything. If you rush the encounter, you could end up missing out on a great arrangement. Be patient. It’ll pay off.
While no one wants to hear it, play safe. Use condoms, meet in well lit places and let someone know where you’re going. These are all great pieces of advice to ensure you can be at ease and have a really great time.
Avoid conversations about work. This can be said for any arrangement or dating experience. No one wants hear about your stresses at work, or your dislike of coworkers. If you’re doing something particularly impressive, you may want to brag. Or if you’re doing something that helps you may be really proud of your work. Mentioning what you do isn’t a bad thing. It says a lot about your personality. But don’t make work conversation a focus. It’s not sexy. Neither is school, for that matter. It may be impressive to someone who’s looking to go out on dates with you, but not to someone who just wants you between the sheets.
The last piece of advice we’re going to give you is to think outside your box. Date around, see other people. Stray a little from your typical type or your typical places. You want to keep things interesting for yourself. You want to be aroused, excited. You’re not going to feel that way if you stick to what you know. So try something you’ve never tried before. Somewhere you’ve never tried with a person you normally wouldn’t be attracted to. Switch it up.