We’ve all been there. A friend we’ve had an attraction to, or maybe a co-worker. Maybe we’ve given in, maybe we haven’t. Feeling attracted to another human being is natural. In fact, it’s in our DNA. But if you have given into that attraction, you likely met the complications after. The “where to go from here” aftermath of a casual hook up. While most people are under the impression that casual hook up dating is different, it isn’t. More often than not the casual hook up ends up becoming a relationship. Or it gets complicated because only one party wants it to be a relationship. There are many different reasons a casual hook up, even when dating, can turn into a complicated and messy situation. But here are good tips to avoiding these awkward situations.
1. Go for someone you can’t stand, but find sexually attractive. If the person you’re interested has a less than satisfying personality, you’ll prevent yourself from getting emotionally attached. Of course you want physical compatibility. You want sexual desire. Passion and flames. But you don’t want those flames igniting into romantic feelings. You want to distance yourself from emotional development. Which, for the record, comes naturally. We’re appreciative of a person who can satisfy our sexual needs. That appreciation can turn into admiration which can quickly turn into adoration, then love. It’s just the natural progression. So to put it simply, find someone you know you’ll never love if their clothes are on.
2. Communicate. This is so important and yet so many people are happy to look past it’s importance. Communication is what is going to keep the experience casual. You have to both be on the same page about what you want and what you’re looking for. If you’re not, or you don’t communicate that you are, things can get messy. You or your partner could start asking themselves what is expected of them in the relationship. Or, questioning if titles have been unknowingly given. Don’t let that happen. You both agreed to a no-strings, so don’t try weaving anything more into the relationship. If you find yourself developing feelings, get out of the relationship quickly. Unless both of you naturally progress to wanting more. That’s different. It’s also rare.
3. Don’t go out together. Another great way of avoiding the development of romantic feelings is to keep yourself out of romantic situations. Don’t sleep over at each others’ houses. Don’t go out to public dinners. If you’re eating after sex, order in, then get out. Don’t go to the movies or anything else that could be considered “dating”. If you want to be in a relationship, be in one. But don’t turn your casual sex dating into real dating. It’ll get messy. If you’re friends with benefits, there may be an exception to being out together. Tread lightly. Also, do it in groups so you feel less of the romantic undertones of being out together.
4. Keep it crazy. Do things you’d never do with a boyfriend. Act out strange fantasies. Be a little shameful. Get dirty. In this case, see your partner as a sexual object of desire and nothing more.
Now, casual sex dating isn’t for everyone. You’re likely to find out pretty quickly if you’re meant for that route or not. But until you know, have fun and good luck!